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Gary Oliver

Sexuality and Singleness

Sexuality and Singleness Sexuality and the Divine Nature

There is more to sexuality than sexual intercourse. Any single person wanting to come to terms with sexuality must be clear about this at the outset. Sexuality – all that it means to be male or female – is built into every aspect of our being. Thus the single person, no less than the married person, is called to embrace and celebrate God's gift of sexuality.

Sexuality is not only God's gift, it is God's way of demonstrating that femaleness and maleness each express aspects of the divine nature. This is made clear in Genesis 1:27. To live fully one's womanhood or manhood is to reverence the mystery of being made in God's image.

What does it mean for a single person to “live fully one's womanhood or manhood”? Society gives very strong messages that fullness of life is not possible without sexual relationships.

Sexuality and Spirituality

What underlying longing? This is a crucial question. At the heart of our creation as humans is the desire to be fully known and loved. God intended it this way. Our longings for intimacy and communion with one another are a constant reminder of the intimacy and communion inherent in the trinity. At the very heart of human sexuality is a longing for union and communion with someone who, knowing us completely, will love us unconditionally. Both Jesus and Paul leave us in no doubt that both marriage and celibacy are lifestyles in which fulfillment can be found. This is precisely because the real source of satisfaction is to be found with the only partner who can ever know us completely and love us unconditionally – God.

Integrated Sexuality for the Christian Pursuing Chastity

The integration of all aspects of one's sexuality is the key to living in joyful wholeness as a single Christian. Human beings are sexual beings. To deny that fact is to turn from God's invitation to fullness of life. To accept the invitation involves (among other things) integrating the many facets of sexuality into the complex tapestry of life.

*Integration involves acknowledging the richness of masculinity/femininity as it expresses the nature of God.

*It involves celebrating the gifts of friendship, intimacy, and relational connectedness. 

*It involves entering fully into the longings for union, communion and creation in the fulfillment of oneness in Christ.

*It involves addressing the tensions and difficulties of singleness wisely and willingly, recognizing that, single or married, no human life is stress-free.

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