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Gary Oliver

Making new friends with confidence

Q: How can I be confident when I meet new people?

I have a “special” gift; I know sports rules like President Pollard knows JBU, inside and out. So, when watching sports, I regularly make foul/penalty calls before the referees. When it comes to being confident meeting new people or making new friends, you need to know one thing inside and out, yourself. The more you know your strengths and weaknesses, the more confident you can be.

Part of this is knowing what you enjoy and what energizes you. Enjoy biking? Ride your bike; you won’t be the only one on two wheels. Enjoy reading fantasy? Then talk with others about what you like to read. Enjoy streaking the quad? Why? Don’t do that! But do the things you enjoy, assuming they’re legal and within the boundaries of the community covenant. And, along the way, you’ll meet other people who share those interests.

As you make connections, be aware of and control your emotional reactions and responses to new situations. You might remember similar times in the past that felt weird or uncomfortable, and that’s why you’re questioning yourself now. That the “now” feels like something that happened “then,” it doesn’t mean the end will be the same. Don’t deny yourself an opportunity because of something that happened at another time with other people.

And don’t deny other people the opportunity to get to know you because of what someone else did in the past.

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