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Gary Oliver

Balancing Multiple Friendships

Q: How do you balance old and new friendships?

The answer to this question is something I am terrible at—juggling. I am amazing at juggling two balls, which is essentially playing catch with yourself. Give me more than two balls to juggle and, after 5 seconds, I’ll be holding one ball surrounded by the rest.

Balancing old and new friendships is relational juggling. Our friends often are not friends with one another and that’s okay. A fourth of the student body are new friend possibilities who won’t necessarily get along with your established group. Do you have to choose? Not if you can juggle.

Both regular and relational juggling take practice. Luckily, friendship juggling balls are not all the same. Some are bouncy balls that pop right back up and give you a second chance. Others are glass that shatter if you drop them. Some friends will give you grace for dropping the ball while others won’t be so forgiving.

Practice giving time to each relational ball and knowing what balls you specifically are juggling. It will help you best balance your old and new friendships. If you want help figuring out what type of ball your friends are or some relational (not regular) juggling tips and techniques, the CHR relationship coaches would love to help.

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